Your Mindfulness Course 'Ways of Being'
Creating a Safe Space
We offer guidance on how to participate so that each mindfulness session is a safe, comfortable and supportive place for everyone, including you, to learn a set of essential mindfulness life skills.
1. Respect & Kindness: Respect for each other, yourselves, and the tutor is very important. No one is perfect, including ourselves. Can we offer the respect and kindness to others that we would want others to give us by not speaking when someone else is speaking? Listen actively. The tutor will be facilitating the discussions with your assistance.
2. Time-Keeping: We aim to start and finish on time each week as there is a lot of material to get through at each session, and so it is of benefit to everyone if you do your best to be on time. Don't let being late stop you coming to a course session. Life often gets in the way of our best organised plans. Your seat will be there waiting for you and it's worth recognising that you will get more benefit from participating in part of a session than you will get from missing a whole session. Each session begins with period of practice so if you do happen to be late, just come in quietly and join in practice when you’re ready.
3. Phones off: Phones should be turned off at the beginning of each session and should remain off until the end except during mid-session breaks. We invite you to make your participation in each session a time for caring for you by giving your full attention to yourself instead of the outside world.
4. Attendance: Each session of the course is a significant stepping stone through the whole course, so it’s important to try your best to attend them all. But just say you have to miss one then we would really appreciate it if you could let us know in advance by phone or email. We will miss you if you're not here... and you don't need to be a certain way to come along – you don't need to come with a smiling face! Come as you are to each session. It doesn’t matter if you’re feeling down or enthusiastic, got a sore head or not, we are all perfect in our imperfection – just as we are. You will benefit from being at a course session even if you are tired or have a sore head.
If you cannot avoid missing a session (it does happen), then you have the opportunity to go to the same session in another town. Please talk to your tutor about this.
5. Confidentiality: Please Note: There is absolutely no need for you to talk in a mindfulness session about anything of a confidential nature relating to circumstances in your personal life. Going to a mindfulness course is not like going to a counselling session.
It is also important that we create a safe place where we can share and learn mindfulness from each other. It might be tempting to go home and share what’s happening in the group with friends or family and what we would like to suggest is that while it’s fine to talk about your own experience or the group in general terms, please do not mention any names or speak about anyone else’s experience. If you’re out and about and you happen to bump into someone from the group and they’re with someone else, it can be valuable to be sensitive to the fact that they may not want to be spoken to about their mindfulness practice.
6. Participation: We're not here to go over the past or the content of one's problems but seeing instead if we can work more helpfully with our patterns of mind and body in the moment – so there may be times when we might invite us all just to pause and breathe, if it's noticed we’re getting caught up in lots of thoughts, and come back to what's happening now.
7. Sharing: We really welcome and encourage you to share your experiences of the mindfulness meditation practices as this is where learning will be discovered, but equally there is no obligation on you to do so. Just mindfully tune into what feels right for you. Sharing comes from your experience. You are encouraged to use the word “I” and not “YOU” when you are sharing your experience of a practice. i.e., “I am experiencing xyz.…”, “I am feeling abc…”. Avoid side conversations – if you are unclear about the topic being discussed or the instructions, please ask your course tutor to clarify.
8. Non-Judgmental awareness: Mindfulness involves an attitude of radical acceptance, curiosity, and awareness of the present moment. It also includes an authentically non-judgmental stance toward all things, no matter how “good” or “bad” the mind automatically labels them. This means that you are invited to learn to take a step back and just describe the event / thing and what happened / why they stood out to you. You do not go into what you think it means or the feelings that may be attached. For example: "I see a blue car – it stood out because of the way the sun hit the paint." Instead of: "I see a blue car – it reminds me of my friend that had a blue car, and it makes me sad because I miss her." When you make a judgement on something because of a feeling attached to it (good or bad), you draw on your thoughts / rules / beliefs from the past. The issue with this is that if we have an unhealthy thinking patterns or a negative and untrue belief in our subconscious, the judgement that we put on something may not be accurate. For example: If I feel angry when she didn’t say hi to me the feeling may be attached to a deeper belief that says, “I’m unlovable” or “I’m unworthy.” We have put our judgement onto a situation and the result for us is a feeling of hurt or anger. If we step back and look non-judgmentally, we may see other alternatives: She may not have seen me, she may be having a bad day, etc.
9. Commitment: The mindfulness sessions, but in particular the home practice can sometimes feel a bit intense or difficult. You will not necessarily enjoy each session – and it may feel challenging at times. Boredom, impatience etc. may all be feelings that arise, and this is all part of learning mindfulness. So as best as you can, see if you can let go of any expectations about how things should be on this course or ought to be. We invite you to 'just do it and see what happens'.
10. Support out of session: Feel free to get in touch if you have any challenges between weekly sessions. Our text and email messages are checked several times a day. Your tutor is also available after each session if you need to speak to them.
11. Open Mind and Heart: Sometimes it may not be clear how what we're doing helps with protecting ourselves from the suffering we experience in life but we would just invite you to bring an open mind to each session, and each moment.
12. Resist the temptation to cross talk in practice enquiries: While something which someone else says may resonate closely with you, in noticing your thoughts and feelings, try to resist saying things like “I agree…” or “That reminds me of…”. When someone is sharing their experience of a mindfulness practice, we are the silent witnesses to their report. We simply hold space for one another.
Is there any other ground rules you want? It's your course.
Ask Questions: There are no stupid questions. If you do have a question you don’t want to ask in front of others, ask it privately during a break or at the end. Please do not think any question you have is unimportant.
1. Respect & Kindness: Respect for each other, yourselves, and the tutor is very important. No one is perfect, including ourselves. Can we offer the respect and kindness to others that we would want others to give us by not speaking when someone else is speaking? Listen actively. The tutor will be facilitating the discussions with your assistance.
2. Time-Keeping: We aim to start and finish on time each week as there is a lot of material to get through at each session, and so it is of benefit to everyone if you do your best to be on time. Don't let being late stop you coming to a course session. Life often gets in the way of our best organised plans. Your seat will be there waiting for you and it's worth recognising that you will get more benefit from participating in part of a session than you will get from missing a whole session. Each session begins with period of practice so if you do happen to be late, just come in quietly and join in practice when you’re ready.
3. Phones off: Phones should be turned off at the beginning of each session and should remain off until the end except during mid-session breaks. We invite you to make your participation in each session a time for caring for you by giving your full attention to yourself instead of the outside world.
4. Attendance: Each session of the course is a significant stepping stone through the whole course, so it’s important to try your best to attend them all. But just say you have to miss one then we would really appreciate it if you could let us know in advance by phone or email. We will miss you if you're not here... and you don't need to be a certain way to come along – you don't need to come with a smiling face! Come as you are to each session. It doesn’t matter if you’re feeling down or enthusiastic, got a sore head or not, we are all perfect in our imperfection – just as we are. You will benefit from being at a course session even if you are tired or have a sore head.
If you cannot avoid missing a session (it does happen), then you have the opportunity to go to the same session in another town. Please talk to your tutor about this.
5. Confidentiality: Please Note: There is absolutely no need for you to talk in a mindfulness session about anything of a confidential nature relating to circumstances in your personal life. Going to a mindfulness course is not like going to a counselling session.
It is also important that we create a safe place where we can share and learn mindfulness from each other. It might be tempting to go home and share what’s happening in the group with friends or family and what we would like to suggest is that while it’s fine to talk about your own experience or the group in general terms, please do not mention any names or speak about anyone else’s experience. If you’re out and about and you happen to bump into someone from the group and they’re with someone else, it can be valuable to be sensitive to the fact that they may not want to be spoken to about their mindfulness practice.
6. Participation: We're not here to go over the past or the content of one's problems but seeing instead if we can work more helpfully with our patterns of mind and body in the moment – so there may be times when we might invite us all just to pause and breathe, if it's noticed we’re getting caught up in lots of thoughts, and come back to what's happening now.
7. Sharing: We really welcome and encourage you to share your experiences of the mindfulness meditation practices as this is where learning will be discovered, but equally there is no obligation on you to do so. Just mindfully tune into what feels right for you. Sharing comes from your experience. You are encouraged to use the word “I” and not “YOU” when you are sharing your experience of a practice. i.e., “I am experiencing xyz.…”, “I am feeling abc…”. Avoid side conversations – if you are unclear about the topic being discussed or the instructions, please ask your course tutor to clarify.
8. Non-Judgmental awareness: Mindfulness involves an attitude of radical acceptance, curiosity, and awareness of the present moment. It also includes an authentically non-judgmental stance toward all things, no matter how “good” or “bad” the mind automatically labels them. This means that you are invited to learn to take a step back and just describe the event / thing and what happened / why they stood out to you. You do not go into what you think it means or the feelings that may be attached. For example: "I see a blue car – it stood out because of the way the sun hit the paint." Instead of: "I see a blue car – it reminds me of my friend that had a blue car, and it makes me sad because I miss her." When you make a judgement on something because of a feeling attached to it (good or bad), you draw on your thoughts / rules / beliefs from the past. The issue with this is that if we have an unhealthy thinking patterns or a negative and untrue belief in our subconscious, the judgement that we put on something may not be accurate. For example: If I feel angry when she didn’t say hi to me the feeling may be attached to a deeper belief that says, “I’m unlovable” or “I’m unworthy.” We have put our judgement onto a situation and the result for us is a feeling of hurt or anger. If we step back and look non-judgmentally, we may see other alternatives: She may not have seen me, she may be having a bad day, etc.
9. Commitment: The mindfulness sessions, but in particular the home practice can sometimes feel a bit intense or difficult. You will not necessarily enjoy each session – and it may feel challenging at times. Boredom, impatience etc. may all be feelings that arise, and this is all part of learning mindfulness. So as best as you can, see if you can let go of any expectations about how things should be on this course or ought to be. We invite you to 'just do it and see what happens'.
10. Support out of session: Feel free to get in touch if you have any challenges between weekly sessions. Our text and email messages are checked several times a day. Your tutor is also available after each session if you need to speak to them.
11. Open Mind and Heart: Sometimes it may not be clear how what we're doing helps with protecting ourselves from the suffering we experience in life but we would just invite you to bring an open mind to each session, and each moment.
12. Resist the temptation to cross talk in practice enquiries: While something which someone else says may resonate closely with you, in noticing your thoughts and feelings, try to resist saying things like “I agree…” or “That reminds me of…”. When someone is sharing their experience of a mindfulness practice, we are the silent witnesses to their report. We simply hold space for one another.
Is there any other ground rules you want? It's your course.
Ask Questions: There are no stupid questions. If you do have a question you don’t want to ask in front of others, ask it privately during a break or at the end. Please do not think any question you have is unimportant.
